


Lucky Me

by peaceoutofthepieces



Series: Skam Bingo 2020 [7]
Category: SKAM (Netherlands), WTFock | Skam (Belgium)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, date
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:09:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25822663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peaceoutofthepieces/pseuds/peaceoutofthepieces
Summary: “Is that a Pride flag?”Making up the back of the fort, hung on the wall and lit by the Christmas lights, is a rainbow Pride flag. Lucas looks at Jens, at the awkwardly nervous expression still on his face, and he begins to understand. He only needs to make sure. “What is this?”“It’s a date.”“A date?”“Yup,” Jens pops the ‘p’, turning to look at Lucas fully with another smile. “To celebrate the start of Pride month.”
Relationships: Jens Stoffels/Lucas van der Heijden
Series: Skam Bingo 2020 [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1729147
Kudos: 40





	Lucky Me

Lucas isn’t surprised when Jens tells him to come over. That isn’t an unusual occurrence. Now that his family knows about them, Lucas is there almost more frequently than he’s in his dad’s flat. So on the short trip to Jens’s house, Lucas isn’t thinking about anything out of the ordinary. 

Then Jens opens the door, and he looks nervous, and Lucas thinks maybe this isn’t the usual invite. 

“Hey,” Jens greets, leaning forward to kiss Lucas on the cheek with a twitchy smile. Lucas brushes a hand through his dark hair and draws him into a proper kiss, carding through the short strands at the back of his neck until he relaxes. 

Then he pulls away and returns, “Hey.”

Jens tugs him inside and shuts the door, taking Lucas’s coat once he’s shrugged it off his shoulders and hanging it up in the hallway. He takes Lucas’s hand and pulls him towards the sitting room. Lucas follows easily, though watches him with a curious gaze. It turns completely confused when Jens stops them at the door and turns around to place his hands on Lucas’s shoulders. Lucas raises a brow. “Are you okay? You’re kind of freaking me out.”

“Okay, so. Maybe this was a stupid idea, and we can totally just ignore it if you want. My parents aren’t home so I mean we can—if this just seems boring or pointless to you I’m sure we can find other ways to spend the time.”

“Jens, what are you talking about?” Lucas laughs slightly. “What are we doing?”

Jens bites his lip, then gives a broad roll of his shoulders and opens the door. 

The lights are off, and the room is instead lit by a string of multi-colored Christmas lights. They’re hung over what appears to be a carefully constructed blanket fort. The inside is lit up by the glow of Jens’s laptop and stuffed with a variety of pillows and cushions and more blankets, but that’s not what catches his eye. 

“Is that a Pride flag?”

Making up the back of the fort, hung on the wall and lit by the Christmas lights, is a rainbow Pride flag. Lucas looks at Jens, at the awkwardly nervous expression still on his face, and he begins to understand. He only needs to make sure. “What is this?”

“It’s a date.”

“A date?”

“Yup,” Jens pops the ‘p’, turning to look at Lucas fully with another smile. “To celebrate the start of Pride month.”

Lucas stares at him. 

Jens’s smile falters, and he lets out a sigh before taking Lucas’s hands. “Okay. I noticed you’ve been kind of...quiet the past few days, and especially today, and I couldn’t figure out why. Then I was talking to Robbe, after he posted this morning. And you always comment on Robbe’s posts, but this time you didn’t, but he told me you messaged him instead. He was talking about how weird it was, how he never expected himself to be making Pride posts with his boyfriend and planning to go to the parade and how he was a little freaked out by all of it. And I realised you probably are, too.”

He squeezes Lucas’s hands and Lucas looks down, taking in a shaky breath. He shouldn’t be surprised, he supposes. Jens has always been able to figure him out, to understand what was going on in his head even when Lucas couldn’t. He’s always been good at putting him at ease. “And you’re not.”

“It’s more that...I’ve never really thought about it. It’s never felt like a big deal. I like you and it doesn’t matter what that makes me. It doesn’t feel any different. Being bi, it was never some big hard realisation for me. I’ve never had to do anything about it. But I have been thinking about it. I know what it can mean. I know that things like Pride month, and everything, can feel great but I get that it can be scary. And I wanted to remind you that it doesn’t have to be.”

He lets go of Lucas’s hands to cup his face, taking a step closer and keeping their gazes locked. He strokes his thumb over Lucas’s cheek as he continues. “Being with me doesn’t change anything, and whatever time of year it is doesn’t change how you should be with me. There’s no...pressure. That’s not what it’s about. The people that matter to us are proud of us. We know we’re proud of us. You know that I love you, and I know that you love me. That’s all that matters.”

Lucas can only keep staring at him. Jens simply smiles back, and keeps stroking his face, and eventually tilts his forehead against Lucas’s, and Lucas leans up and kisses him. Jens responds immediately, wrapping his arms around Lucas’s shoulders as Lucas pulls him closer by the waist. He hadn’t really expected this from Jens. Jens is always a giver of silent support, but romantic gestures aren’t really either of their things. He’s heard Jens express his opinions before, knows that he can get passionate about the things he cares for, and is suddenly honored to realise he’s one of those things. 

Jens presses a kiss to his cheek, his jaw, and his temple before resting his lips there and adding, “The fact that you still need time doesn’t change because this month tells you you should be loud and proud. You are proud. And I know you’d defend Robbe or Sander or Milan or me or anyone else in a heartbeat. But you’re allowed to want to be private, and comfortable and safe.” He gestures at the fort. 

Finally, Lucas smiles at him. He draws him into a tight hug and presses a kiss to his jaw, then tucks his face into his shoulder. “That was very cheesy, and I can’t believe a blanket fort is what you came up with.”

“Hey, blanket forts are awesome.” Jens gives him a squeeze. “And harder to design than they look. I put a lot of work into this, y’know.”

“I know,” Lucas says quietly. “Thank you.”

It had been a decision Lucas made and Jens agreed with when they first got together. At the time, Lucas wasn’t even out to his friends. Since then, they’ve come a good way. Lucas had wanted to come out to Kes and Jayden and the rest of his friends back home first, feeling they deserved to know before his new group. Jens had waited, claiming that if he came out to his friends they’d figure out why immediately. They’d thought through each step before taking it together, and all of their friends and families know. Lucas had even managed to tell both of his parents without feeling like the words were being choked out of him. 

But Lucas still doesn’t feel like he’s _out_. 

He isn’t hiding. At school, if he meets up with the guys for lunch, he’s okay with sitting down right next to Jens and pressing a kiss to his cheek. At the skatepark, he’s okay with sitting in the circle of Jens’s arms at the top of a ramp. But they aren’t as free with their affection as Robbe and Sander are. Lucas isn’t as open and sure as Milan. He hasn’t made any kind of public declaration, whether that be in his life in Antwerp or Utrecht or online. 

It isn’t that he isn’t proud. It isn’t that he’s embarrassed. It isn’t that he doesn’t want to show Jens off. It comes from something deeper down, an innate anxiety of portraying this part of himself that people may disagree with, or disapprove of. A deep rooted fear of hurt and danger and hatred. Being with Jens almost strengthens the fear on the worst days—it isn’t only himself Lucas wants to protect, but someone he loves. He would never forgive himself for hurting someone he loves. And he loves Jens a lot. 

He also knows that that isn’t fair. Not to his friends or his family or his followers, or even to Jens, but to himself. He knows that, while he’s scared, it’s worth the risk. Jens, his feelings, and who he is—it’s worth the risk. 

He just needs a little bit longer to feel ready to take it. He just needs to take a little time. Until he gets himself into a better headspace. 

Of course, Jens does make it easier. Jens makes every aspect of Lucas’s life easier. His love makes it easier for Lucas to love himself, in a way he’d never let himself think about. 

Jens kisses the crown of his head and hugs him for a few moments longer. “So, you wanna see how comfy this thing is?”

“I’m pretty comfy right here,” Lucas hums. 

Jens huffs and steps away from Lucas, giving his hand a tug. He ducks carefully under the blankets, crawling in on his hands and knees. He settles himself carefully amongst a mass of cushions with a pillow tucked behind his back. While in the process of pulling a blanket over his lap, he realises Lucas hasn’t moved. He raises a brow in question. “Are you joining me?”

Lucas smiles and climbs in beside him. He settles in against Jens and lets him throw the blanket over their laps. Jens draws him in closer with an arm around his shoulders and Lucas lets himself relax into him. 

“It is really comfortable,” he admits. 

Jens lifts his laptop into his lap and says, “Told you. So, what do you wanna watch? Netflix doesn’t really have the best Pride date selection but I don’t have anything else, so…”

Lucas hums and considers it. “Something that we haven’t seen before? Something funny, if that exists. Or at least not that sad.”

“So, not Call Me By Your Name again. Okay.” Jens scrolls through the movies and eventually snorts. “King Cobra?”

“If I’d known you were trying to set that kind of mood I would’ve told you to just skip the movie part.”

Jens laughs. “What about...Alex Strangelove? That looks not-so-painful.”

“Sure.” Lucas doesn’t really care what they watch. He always pays more attention to Jens anyway. 

Here, like this, with Jens next to him and his warmth wrapped around him, he feels at ease. This is his comfort, his warmth, his safety. He takes pride in it, sure, but more than anything, he finds joy. The anxiety that had been building all day and over the past week has finally given way to a sense of peace. 

After a little while, he gives up. He twists himself around to face Jens and turns his face towards him, leaning up to give him a soft kiss. “You know, I am very proud to be with you.”

Jens hums and smiles at him. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. I’m very proud of myself. I know what a lucky catch I’ve made.”

Jens snorts. “That’s good, you should be very aware of that.” He kisses Lucas’s nose. 

Lucas raises a brow. “You’re not going to say you know how lucky you are to have me?”

Jens hums and turns away, pretending to think hard about it, before he turns back to Lucas with a shrug. “Nope.”

“Nope? Are you serious?”

“Yep.”

“You’re an asshole.”

“You’re adorable,” Jens returns, pressing their foreheads together. “And I’m the luckiest man in the world.”

Lucas hates that he blushes but enjoys the warmth as it seeps through his chest, spreading comfortably down into his stomach and leaving him molten. “That’s better,” he whispers. Jens hums again and then they’re kissing, film still blaring quietly in the background, Jens’s laptop resting safely on a distant cushion. “Where’s your bi flag?”

“Don’t have one,” Jens shrugs, mumbling the words against Lucas’s lips. “Stole this from Milan.”

“I can see you really put in a lot of work.”

“I can see you’re very grateful.”

“I’m trying to show you how grateful I am but you keep talking.”

Jens laughs and falls back against his pillow, grinning wide as he looks up at Lucas. Lucas props himself up on an elbow to keep looking down at him, hovering his torso over Jens’s and leaning down to kiss him again. 

“Hey,” Jens protests. “I had this all planned out and you’re not even watching the movie.”

“Maybe we should’ve watched King Cobra after all.”

Jens laughs again and pushes his face away, so Lucas gives in and lies down beside him. He flings an arm over Jens’s chest and cuddles close to his side, pressing his smile to his shoulder in the form of a light kiss. Jens slips an arm under his shoulders and traces patterns on his back, content smile on his face as he determinedly focuses his gaze on the film. 

“Jens.”

“Shhh.”

“Come on,” Lucas pokes him. “Jens.”

“God, okay,” Jens jokingly rolls his eyes before looking over at him. “My plans aren’t good enough for you, I get it. What?”

“Can we take a photo?”

Jens blinks. He tilts his head back as his brow furrows. “Why?”

“Just,” Lucas shrugs, struggling to find the words. “I thought it’d be nice. With the flag.” 

Jens’s lips form a small ‘o’. 

“Nevermind,” Lucas says quickly, lying back down on his boyfriend’s shoulder. “It was stupid.”

“Luc. Hey, Lucas.” Jens places his finger under Lucas’s chin and tilts his head up again, trying to meet his eyes. “Look at me. I didn’t say it was stupid.”

Lucas bites his lip. “I don’t—it’s not like I—“ he cuts himself off, sighing. “I just wanted it for myself, I guess.”

“Okay,” Jens says easily, already sitting up and pulling Lucas with him. “You have your phone on you?”

Lucas slips his phone out of his pocket as Jens wraps an arm around his shoulders once more. He tilts his head against Lucas’s as Lucas opens his camera. They’re far enough away from the wall that the flag is completely visible behind them. Lucas’s hand is steady as he snaps the picture, bringing it close then to examine it. It’s innocent enough, no different to photos he’s taken and posted with Kes before, if not for the flag behind them and the somewhat tender smiles on their faces. Something about the atmosphere or the vibe of it makes its intentions clear. 

When Jens turns his head to press a kiss to Lucas’s cheek, Lucas takes the hint and snaps another photo, feeling his smile grow wider as the warmth in his chest expands. 

It takes almost two months for those photos to be seen by anyone but them, when Jens posts the relatively innocent one and allows Lucas to post the other and makes his point extremely clear. 

He captions it _‘Always proud to be with you’_. 

Jens is the first to like and comment, with a simple _‘lucky me <3’_.


End file.
